Thursday, June 11, 2020

My Cousin's A Karen: A Poem

My Cousin's a Karen
And She knows what's best.
No one will go back to work 
Until we all pass Her test.

If we follow Her lead
We'll lose all of our fears:
Just stay safely locked in our closets
For the next twenty years.

My Cousin's a Karen
She'll sound out the alarm.
She'll have us all arrested
To keep us all safe from harm.

She has 9-1-1
On many cellphone speed dials,
Taking copious notes
For Her Violators' Files.

My Cousin's a Karen
So strong and so steady.
Her six-foot yardstick
Forever at the ready.

Schools can't reopen.
What if there is a sneeze?
Who will think of the children
While Covid blows in the breeze?

My Cousin's a Karen
Bravely assuming Her tasks.
Checking we have clean gloves
and wearing minimum seven masks.

The curve will never be flattened
 That is for sure.
We can't step outside our homes
Until there is a permanent cure.

My Cousin's a Karen
That is for certain
She keeps faithful vigilance
Behind Her lace curtain.

No parties, no cookouts
We can't even try.
For She will kindly remind us

My Cousin's a Karen
But be not on Her hard.
For who will save us all
Without Her on Guard?

Let us all now render praise
To our Dear Cousin Karen
For without Her foresight
Our lives would be so utterly barren.

My Cousin's a Karen
Forever fighting the Good Fight.
With Her eternal protection
We all sleep well at Night.

She keeps us from dying
And that is a fact.
Ensuring our safety
With no regard for tact.

My Cousin's a Karen
And we all owe Her our lives.
Thanks to Her and Her alone
Our Civilization Survives.